Fake Saint of the Year

Translator: Tsukii

Editor: Mon Cherry

Read at Watashi wa Sugoi Desu!

Chapter 68: Feeding1

With Alfrea added to our group, we went back to the Academy for a bit.

Vernell and the others still had to attend classes, and we had already planned to go back when the sun had set anyways.

Alfrea might do weird things if she was left alone in the Academy, so she was to be held in the Saint’s Castle.

…Rather, if she stayed in the Academy, the students’ dreams would end up getting magnificently crushed, and in the worst case scenario, the Academy would have to change its name.

When I brought this up, obviously both Old Man Aiz and Headmaster Fox were surprised, but she was still the First Generation Saint. They had to tolerate her regardless, so they begrudgingly accepted it.

“Eh~ the Saint lives in this kind of place nowadays? What a good thing to have~! Back in my day, we camped out every night. Rather, I was chased around while being treated as a 2nd Generation Witch, so I had to keep moving around. So until I managed to defeat Okaa-sama, I was always seen as a nuisance.”

It seemed that Alfrea had her share of hardships.

Maybe it was because she was raised in such a harsh environment, she ended up with this kind of personality.

At least Eterna wouldn’t be able to become this shameless.

“Ah, right. Is there anything to eat? I haven’t eaten anything for 1000 years, so I want to eat, since it’s been such a long time. I want white bread and cheese. I’ll also be happier if some meat and wine are added to the mix.” 

Alfrea peeked toward me as she asked for food, but I think what she just requested was meant to be the highest quality luxury she could think of.

I’d learned in class that tableware didn’t even exist in this world 1000 years ago, and they had to eat by hand back then.

There was something to be learnt from everything.

Also, there were many kinds of bread, with white bread made out of wheat as a former luxury only eaten by Royalties and Nobles. By the way, there was a strong theory that such bread was non-fermented bread.

Well, I guessed that it was something close to naan bread2.

It was currently still the case that white bread was treated as luxury food, but if properly fermented, the bread of our time should be a lot easier to eat.

Obviously it was something that was unworthy of being compared with to modern day Japanese cuisine.

“Head Chef, I wish to borrow the kitchen for a bit.”

“Ye, yes!”

I started to see Alfrea as pitiful. Since it has come to this, I would feed her the most delicious thing I could make, so I went to the kitchen.

The first thing that should be made was bread.

But it was not a common kind of bread, as it was soy bread that was made out of soybeans crushed into powder.

Soybeans … yes, the meat of produce.

To be exact, it was not really soybean, but something that looked exactly like it. However, as I inspected and tested the qualities of it, I could say that it was practically a soybean, so I just called it one.

Its proper name in this world was soiyabean.

It could grow even if planted on arid lands, and it was used mainly for food in Japon.

For some reason, it was not used for human consumption, but mainly as feed for livestock on this continent.

Apparently, it was not recognized as food for humans.

Since I thought that was a total folly, I made the decision to cultivate it behind the castle. I made bread out of soybeans and made very influential people eat it to teach them its worth, and to have them spread it all over the land.

Well, it was closer to cake than bread though.

As for why I made cake instead, it was because soft bread made with modern standards was way too troublesome to make.

Compared to that, making cake was easier.

That was the thing I was about to make in this moment.

First, I lightly heated the oven, and left it on for a while.

This world’s oven was a stone kiln, so it was not as convenient as the electric ones in the modern world. But there was magic in this world, so I could still fine-tune it.

Next step was the eggs. I divided the egg yolks and the egg whites, then mixed the egg yolks with soybean powder and water.

For maple syrup, I searched for a tree that had sweet sap, then forcefully squeezed it out of the tree using earth magic.

But I only added a tiny bit of it. If I added too much, it would become a dessert instead.

I made meringue out of egg whites, and added it little by little into the soybean powder concoction from earlier to smoothly mix it in.

Finally, I poured it into my self-made mold, and put it into the oven. All that was left was to wait.

Since she said she wanted to eat meat, I supposed I would prepare some.

This world’s meat dishes were very sloppy.

Because they put the act of eating as priority, they didn’t ever consider the taste or how easy the meals were to eat.

Anyway, they set this priority to preserve enough food to make it through winter.

So at most, it was dried and salted meat jerky that was prevalent out there.

It wasn’t like it couldn’t be eaten, but most of them didn’t have a praiseworthy taste.

Even cows were totally seen as an existence that produces cheese and butter instead, and their worth as food was almost not apparent here whatsoever.

The reason being… Well, their processing method was very messy.

This world had a concept of bleeding out animals at least, but since those cows were not specifically bred to be eaten, and were only roughly cut, there was no way it could be good. As such, the people’s common understanding of beef was that it was tough, smelly, and tasted bad.

Even so, if a cow ended up dying, they would still eat it. However, in those cases, their method of cooking was mostly just figuring out how to mix it with some strong aromatic herb to disguise the smell; that was how they were eaten.

The people of this world were rough in most parts after all.

Since it came to this, I should feed Alfrea meat that she could say was delicious. 

Well there was a chance that her taste buds didn’t match mine, but we should just deal with it if it truly came to that.

The first step was how to cut the meat. They shouldn’t just be sliced randomly, but perfectly and accordingly to each part.

Thin membrane-like streaks and excess fat were to be scraped off, so it wouldn’t ruin the meat’s fibers.

Then I added olive oil into the frying pan (self-made), then when it started smoking, I put the meat on it.

I sprinkled salt on one side and as both sides were properly cooked, it was exposed to residual heat for about 30 seconds.

… I actually wanted to add pepper as well, but pepper was way too expensive in this world, so let’s compromise on that.

After 30 seconds, I lit up the burner then left it again in residual heat for another 30 seconds.

I repeated this several times, and finally put some butter on it to add flavor.

Once done cooking the meat, I cut it against the grain of the meat’s fibers. This was supposed to be a simple homemade technique to make delicious steak that I think I had seen on TV before. 

On top of that, I cooked potatoes and carrots as a garnish, and arranged it beside the meat.

There was also alcohol among her requests, I think?

Well, it should be enough to use the wine in this castle for it.

In the first place, I didn’t touch anything related to alcohol. I didn’t do a thing about it.

Since I didn’t really like alcohol in the first place…

Finally, the cake was baked, so I placed it outside of the oven.

Actually, I could put whipped cream on top of it to complete the dessert, but I didn’t do it this time.

Because, this time the cake was considered the main course of the meal.

It might be better if I honestly made bread, but… as I said before, it was too troublesome.

It wasn’t like all the ingredients were readily accessible here like in the modern world, and there were no home bakeries in this world, too.

Forming bread dough by hand was a hassle as well.

So I thought it was better to make a cake with a lower level of sweetness instead.

A certain person in the past had said, “If it’s hard to make bread, then just make cake!”

Well, basically, I just hated doing troublesome things.

So I insisted this was bread, and fed it to people with political power.

The boundary between cake and bread might be destroyed because of me, as if I care.

Since it was all done, I called the Knights to bring these dishes to Alfrea.

“What is this, what is this!? It smells really good! Seems delicious! It should be okay to eat it right!? It’s okay right!? I will still eat it, even if you say it’s not okay!”

Alfrea’s expression didn’t turn into a female (mesu) expression, but into a food (meshi) expression, as her gaze fixed on the food I cooked3.

But if I had just left her alone, she would have eaten it with her bare hands, so I taught her how to use a fork.

I had already cut the meat, so all she needed to do was pick it up with the fork and bring it to her mouth. Even if forks didn’t exist 1000 years ago, she should still be capable of doing this.

Then even as Alfrea said she understood, her gaze was still fixed on the food.

Somehow, it felt like putting some kibble before a dog.

It might’ve been interesting to keep her waiting, but drool had already begun to flow from her mouth so I thought it was best to not do it.

It might have been just my imagination, but the Knights seemed to have an expression like their dreams had been crushed again.

“Alright.”

Before the dignity of the First Saint was shattered even more, I just let her eat already.

As I decided this and gave her permission, Alfrea began by grabbing the bread (which it wasn’t really, per se) and nibbled on it.

“What is this?! It feels fluffy! It’s sweet! It’s not hard! Delicious! It. Is. Delicious!”

The bread (or something that was just called that) I had made, that was quite a considerable portion, was devoured in a moment. Then, after that, she was about to grab the meat without utensils, so I slapped her hand away.

Don’t use your bare hands for it, fool. You’ll get sticky.

Then Alfrea awkwardly used her fork, and stabbed the meat with inexperienced movements.

I felt like I was training a dog.

Dogs didn’t use forks though.

“Delicious! It feels tender! Its juice spreads out as I bite into it! Sweet! Why is this!?”

It seemed she loved the meat too, which caused her actions to become more ferocious as she ate.

She was in front of the Knights, who were watching her, but she didn’t mind them at all

She no longer had any intentions of putting on a pretense, I guess.

She had completely dropped it, which was quite refreshing, in a way.

Meanwhile, the Knights, who were watching such a spectacle, had expressions as their world was shattered.

As she stuffed herself with food, Alfrea looked like she turned into some kind of hamster.

Uhm… she might be eating it so deliciously, but she totally lacked manners.

If this was the First Saint, then my Saint Role Play seemed mistaken from its very foundation.

Since the First Saint was the Saint amongst Saints. The Saint of all Saints. If she was considered such, then a better Saint Role Play supposedly should just be zero manners and doing things as they like…?

…no, no, don’t be fooled here.

The reason she could show her true self was because she was a real one.

I definitely couldn’t do the same thing.

That was why, I decided to continue my Saint Role Play, my way.

“Who is the person who cooked this~!?”

As she was done eating, Alfrea suddenly stood and shouted.

The area around her mouth was covered in meat juices that dirtied her face.

I had no choice but to take out a handkerchief, and wipe her mouth.

This seriously felt like taking care of a dog.

“It was me, but—”

“Please be my bride!”

What was this fellow saying?

I was a man inside per se. My consciousness was still male, so if we really did marry, I wouldn’t be a bride, but a groom instead.

Well, it wasn’t like Alfrea said it seriously, so I should just lightly laugh and go with the flow.

Social people’s secret move: “If you feel troubled, just laugh and go with the flow”… that was a necessary skill to have.

After Alfrea was done with her meal, she rolled on her bed with her limbs spread out, settled in a sloppy posture, and began to sleep while snoring.

“I can still eat… bring me more…”

Such terrible sleep talking…

Since I had no choice, I put a blanket over her, and left the room to return to the Academy.

“Well then, I will go back to the Academy. Rex, I’m counting on you to protect and help her.”

“Hah, leave it to me… By the way, Elrise-sama… err, I know it sounds rude, but… is she really…”

“Yes, she is the real Alfrea-sama.”

This Knight with a dead expression on his face was the Traitor Knight A, Rex-kun, who had stood guard on me when I had been confined.

Beyond his gaze was Alfrea, who was sleeping in the shape of the character 大, snoring about, and even scratching her bottom.

It was similar to how an old fart would sleep. 

Rex still did not give up, and looked at me as if he was clinging onto some kind of hope. Give it up.

“She’s real one”

“…Elrise-sama. I am proud to be your knight.”

Don’t react the same way as Leila did.

But this was troublesome … I actually wanted to transfer several of my Guard Knights to be Alfrea’s, but it would be hard to do so if they all said this.

Rather, Alfrea was still a Saint, so not assigning guards to her was not an option, so some people had to be transferred there.

Rather, in an extreme case, everyone could go here except Leila.

I need Leila for my eyes’ health4, but I didn’t need any guards in the first place.

“I’m glad to hear you say that, but I need to transfer several people to guard Alfrea-sama instead. We can’t leave her in a situation without any guards. And the only people I can entrust with that are you, the people who are my Guard Knights, whose strength I trust.”

Some of you people would get transferred to Alfrea’s side, I leave that side to you.

As I said that, Rex clearly turned stiff.

On top of that, several of the nearby Knights who had been listening in also stiffened.

Don’t dislike it that much. The other one is a real Saint unlike me. Her inside is not scummy, unlike mine.

Rather, the transfer was better to the people’s advantage.

Since I knew that, I intended to transfer capable people to Alfrea.

Rather than I, the Fake who was scum inside, those Knights would surely be happier protecting Alfrea instead.

Since Rex was capable, I should transfer him too.


A/N:

Marie Antoinette: “I didn’t say that.”

Want early access to Fake Saint and Executed Sage? Support the translator on Patreon! Also check out their latest project, Melancholy of the Demon Army Officer. It’s a Rance fanfic, sort of a prequel to the main story.

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Canelé
Canelé
9 days ago

For the guys asking why she can cook “great”… Other than her past life (Niito) being a being that doesn’t like communication (living solo), some guys would want to also learn to cook simple dishes on their past time. You can’t live off fast food and restaurants forever, cooking your own food is still recommended. And with how she explains it, the cooking level of that world is so low that “modern” cooking would be heavenly for them anyways.

Now for this chapter:

Man, Alfrea’s cuteness is all over. Kinda wish there’s more to it, but then we’re nearing the end (seems like the witch battle is sooner or later).

Last edited 9 days ago by Canelé
Mimisan
1 month ago

So err why is Elriese some sort of master chef? Did Niito perhaps like to cook? But it’s so weird that she even knows how to cut meat properly n stuff. Most urban people would just buy Percut meats.

Also it’s interesting that Elriese seems to mainly cook western food unlike the standard isekai protagonist that absolutely has to introduce Japanese food and talk as if it is the absolute tastiest cuisine in the world

Gitami
Gitami
2 months ago

x Female face
O Meal face

Rush
Rush
2 months ago

Obligatory food chapter. Is everyone in Japan a food fetishist, or what?

tsukii
tsukii
2 months ago
Reply to  Rush

is it? the chapter about “training” alfrea, according to what i read?(ignoring most details)

Rush
Rush
2 months ago
Reply to  tsukii

I skipped about a hundred lines because it was nothing but describing cooking, food, or someone’s reaction to food.

It’s not as bad as some novels, like Yondome wa Iyana Shi Zokusei Majutsushi, whose protagonist is food-obsessed, or Elf Tensei Kara no Cheat Kenkoku-ki, which eventually became nothing but food for the whole chapter, every chapter.

I’m just curious why the majority of Japanese isekais have the trope of going into deep detail describing the differences between the worlds’ foods. The time spent on food is consistently so much more than in other language novels I’ve read.

tsukii
tsukii
2 months ago
Reply to  Rush

maybe japs love having such chap?

HentMas
HentMas
2 months ago
Reply to  Rush

but there is no “difference” it just says excuses of “why” they don’t do food as we are used to (which is complete bull since cooking has developed immensely since the first guy put a piece of meat over fire, yeast and all that was known, “nan” bread was a choice not a deficiency of yeast evolution) it’s just the author trying to justify why she is able to “cheat” her way into cooking delicious things without really making her a competent cook. “they didn’t eat cows till they died” yeah… no, that’s absolutely impossible that no one thought “I think I can harvest the meat of this thing”, and just had cattle as “milk producers”

tsukii
tsukii
2 months ago
Reply to  HentMas

it been explained, they do eat cows, but due their immature way for cutting, it taste awful, and most they knew was to make it preserved food. mind you, era before elrise active was era when starvation was a thing, even to king aiz family. so they wouldn’t cut the food producing livestock, unless said cow were at end of their lifespan

Rush
Rush
2 months ago
Reply to  tsukii

Thank you for the translation, by the way.